Jessica Barrett investigates how mini moments can have a big impact on our wellness
Picture the scene: it’s a grey, rainy day. You’re at a bus stop with a 17-minute wait, you realise you’ve left your keys at the office and your phone battery is on 1%. Then, you look up to see the most beautiful full moon – it stops your mind from fixating on what’s gone wrong and allows you to take a moment to breathe and regulate your thoughts. This moment is what psychologists call a ‘glimmer’. If you think about a spectrum of positive to negative thoughts, where a trigger can cause a rush of negative emotions, a glimmer is something small that feels comforting, calm or safe: a ‘micro-joy’.
Glimmers can be found anywhere, and are unique to what feels good to you: nature, the sound of a loved one’s voice, the taste of a meal, five minutes alone savouring a coffee in the garden, your pet greeting you when you arrive home. Anything that makes you feel connected and hopeful, no matter how fleeting, is a glimmer – and they’re great for boosting our mental health.
Abbey Sangmeister, burnout coach, therapist and founder of Evolving Whole, says that intentionally incorporating glimmers into our day can make a big difference. ‘We can encourage them by being mindful and setting an intention each day to look for them,’ she explains. ‘By slowing down and being mindful of glimmers, we start to be more aware of them. Glimmers bring moments of ease and contentment; some may even trigger further memories of happy times or moments of success. They’re great for healing and preventing burnout and stress because they ground us in the present and help us to see the beauty in a day, even when there are challenges.’
Accentuate the positive
Many of us are naturally predisposed to a more negative mindset – whether this is as a result of modern environmental stressors or inbuilt programming. Shoshanna Hecht, a New York-based personal coach*, sees embracing glimmers as a way to counteract this negative mindset. ‘Humans have a negativity bias,’ she explains, ‘we’re hard-wired to notice what’s broken instead of what’s working, which means we have to actively seek out positive inputs for counterbalance.’
‘The beautiful thing about glimmers is they can be anything that feels good to you, tiny moments of joy. I love feeling the sun on my face, a breeze on my skin, or remembering a funny or touching moment. The tricky thing is remembering to actually notice and savour them. That’s why it can be helpful to proactively layer them into our day. Of course, we can’t force a glimmer to cross our path, but we can remember to drop in and enjoy the moment – if you find it tricky, perhaps set an alarm on your phone or calendar to remind yourself for the first few weeks.’
At this time of year, glimmers can perhaps feel fewer and farther between – but that’s more reason than ever to set an intention to enjoy the smaller things. Abbey says: ‘For many people, the winter months can be hard. When the days are shorter, we often forget to notice the beauty of sunsets and the evening hours.’
On your sparks
So, what kinds of practices can we incorporate into our days to encourage some more mindful thinking in this way? Becky Hall, author of The Power of Enough, suggests setting intentional times to recharge our batteries can often spark glimmers – even when they seem like very basic ideas, they’re often things we deny ourselves in a busy week. ‘These can be simple – taking time out to pop outside for a walk during the day or eating lunch away from your desk.’ Writing down positive thoughts can also pave the way to further positive thought processes. Alison McDowall, emotional health coach and co-founder of The Positive Planner wellness journals says: ‘Simple actions, such as writing down what you’re grateful for, can encourage you to look for more.’
Be consistent
She adds, ‘We’re all guilty of expressing what’s going wrong in our lives and taking positive action to express what’s going right does take practice and intention. When we do this consistently, however, we start to angle ourselves more towards these positive glimmers, which gives us evidence that things aren’t all bad and allows us to feel more grateful, hopeful and connected to ourselves.
Positive habits that allow for these sorts of experiences are needed more than ever in the darker months of the year. Self-care routines, nature walks and journalling are all simple and accessible ways to build these moments of light into our schedule.’
Most importantly – and this sounds like a simple one but it’s something so many of us forget to do – simply breathing can create the space for small moments of calm and joy. ‘Often, it’s our physiology that takes us out of balance; when we perceive that we are under threat. When that happens, we trigger our fear responses, aka
“fight, flight, freeze”,’ says Becky.
A ‘glimmer’ is a way of bringing us back to a state of active calm – meaning that we can think clearly, regulate our heart rate and calm our nervous system. So much of life is about giving out energy – these moments are about resetting and getting a little of what you need.’
Glimmer diary
To put this theory to the test, content sub editor, Clare Lewis, set about noting the glimmers in her week
Monday
My week of gathering glimmers got off to an early start with a pre-work walk to meet a good friend for coffee on a bench in the park. We brought our own flasks of java and exchanged news of our weekends. I mentioned my task for the week and we both agreed this moment qualified – crisp winter air, early morning light, coffee made just the way we liked it and the comfort of each other’s company. Glimmers left and right.
Tuesday
At a meeting at my daughter’s school, I spotted a woodpecker outside the window picking over the grass. After the rain, some unfortunate but tasty worms must have found their way to the surface. The teacher and I forgot our chat and sat watching the bird for a good few minutes – it was wonderful.
Wednesday
My son just received his first cologne as a Christmas present – a classic fragrance that I used to wear myself, in my twenties, when I wanted to mix things up a bit – Tommy Cologne Eau de Toilette Spray. As he hugged me goodbye on his way to school, the citrusy notes sent my olfactory response into overdrive and memories of carefree days with friends rushed in. Huge glimmer.
Thursday
I’m fortunate to live a five-minute walk from the sea, which I can be guilty of taking for granted. So this afternoon, I took a stroll to the end of the pier and sat breathing with the waves. The light and colours at this time of year are particularly soothing, and the sea itself quite literally showed me the glimmers.
Friday
After a busy work week, I clocked off early evening and took some time to properly unwind: a little yoga, a long bath and then slathering on a recent gift from a friend – Elemis Superfood Facial Oil. Taking the time to massage the deliciously-scented elixir into my face and neck felt wonderful and the gratitude I felt for the luxe gift combined to form the perfect Friday night glimmer.
Saturday
Saturdays can be busy for me, but I always try to find the time to visit my local outdoor market. A feast of artisan stalls, including natural skincare, bric-a-brac, wine and home-made Swedish cinnamon buns. Over the years, I’ve come to know some of the stall holders and there is always a wonderful, vibrant atmosphere. Today, since I’m actively pursuing glimmers, I treated myself to a seated back massage from one of the vendors!
Sunday
Nothing in the diary for today – bliss! – so I cuddled up with my children underneath our cosy Dreamland Hygge Days Faux Fur Warming Throw to catch up on some TV. There were many more moments this week where I experienced this sense of pausing, being present and appreciating what was in front of me.
I’ve noticed a real shift in my perspective and I felt a comforting sense of quiet and reflection as I settled into bed on Sunday night.
