It’s time to embrace being a menopausal woman
Everybody’s talking about the menopause, or at least we all should be. Thankfully, it’s no longer the taboo subject it used to be, as a new generation of menopausal women are refusing to suffer the up-to 48 signs and symptoms in silence (for the full list, visit boots.com/menopause-support) or become invisible. And rightly so, since approximately 13 million women in the UK are either peri- or postmenopausal* and, according to GenM, could be the first generation to live longer post-reproduction than pre. So, why shouldn’t we make the most of it?
Here, four women share their menopause stories and how they’re helping to normalise the conversation around this life stage…
Karen Arthur, 60, from London, hosts the podcast, Menopause Whilst Black, which supports the journeys of Black UK women
“I remember the moment I realised I was menopausal: I was aged 52, in my bedroom, doing downward dog and dripping with sweat, with the windows fully open in February, when the penny dropped! I actually burst out laughing. I’d been experiencing signs and symptoms for years, including anxiety and depression, but the fact it could be menopause just hadn’t been on my radar.”
“My doctor didn’t offer me hormone replacement therapy (HRT) treatment back then and if you’d said HRT to my mother, she’d have given me a withering look. There was this idea that it was somehow seen as ‘cheating’, and that ran deep for me.”
“There are lots of cultures, including the Black community, that have subjects they don’t talk about. My mum still calls it ‘the change’ and can’t understand what all the fuss is about. Intergenerational learning is powerful, but it can’t be an assumption that everyone has a mum or a culture where they can speak freely.”
“I never set out to be a podcaster, or an ‘activist’ – I started Menopause Whilst Black, because I’d Googled menopause and all the pictures were white, grey-haired women clutching their heads in their hands.”
“Black women are half as likely to take HRT as their white counterparts**, and research has found we’re more likely to start menopause earlier and suffer from worse symptoms***. I was upset, why didn’t anyone tell me this?”
“So, I took it upon myself to get the word out there, as a space to support and share the journeys of Black women. I believe life is just getting started when you reach menopause, and the more of us who show up and speak about it – and not just the Insta-filtered stuff, but the real warts and all stuff – the better it’ll be for all of us.”
Everyone’s experience is different
Genevieve Nikolopulos, 60, from London, works in the beauty industry and creates midlife beauty and menopause content @this_is_fifty
“I first knew something was ‘off’ when I found myself leaving my office in tears on my lunch break. As managing director of a beauty PR and comms agency, used to managing 20 staff, it wasn’t like me. As well as being tired and emotional, I put on weight around my middle. I was 53, and a few beauty industry pals were going through menopause at the time, so I decided to investigate.”
“As an endometriosis sufferer, I had a private gynaecologist and she did some blood tests. She told me my oestrogen levels were that of a 75 year old. When deciding to take HRT or not, I weighed up my quality of life and the health implications. I’d suffered with extreme PMS for most of my adult life, but with HRT, I’m the most stable I’ve ever been.”
“I’m now very vocal about my menopause experience and HRT. I remember a friend suffering night-time anxiety, claiming she wasn’t menopausal despite being in her mid-fifties. She said, ‘Doesn’t that mean you’re dried up and old?’ That stayed with me – it’s sad some women are suffering, because they won’t own up to being menopausal. But I took it in hand and dealt with it. Now, on HRT herself, my friend is as evangelical as me.”
“Being in the beauty industry, I’ve always used good products, but during menopause I upped my game, investigating serums and ingredients like retinol to help with the appearance of lines and wrinkles. My skin also became drier (everything gets drier!), so I nourish it more. Right now, I love Caudalie and La Roche-Posay. I didn’t suffer from hair thinning, but often use hair masks as that too became drier.”
“For wellness, I’m obsessed with keeping my body moving, doing weight-bearing exercises, yoga and spin classes a few times a week.”
“As we struggled with fertility, due to the endometriosis, when meno hit, my husband was open and supportive. But my son doesn’t like talking about that stuff – he’s only just about accepting me on Instagram!”
I’m a big advocate of HRT
Katie Lee, 49, from Nottingham, works in the Boots Customer Support Centre
“I assumed I’d go through menopause the same time as my mum, in my fifties. So when my periods started getting shorter when I was just 43, my mind ran riot of what could be wrong – was it a sign of something serious? Visits to the doctor didn’t allay my worries, they dismissed it as stress. A blood test eventually showed that my hormone levels were on the cusp of menopause. However, my GP wouldn’t treat me until the levels got lower, so I was sent away to live with it.”
“I felt annoyed at not being listened to, which triggered mood swings. I was also getting hot flushes. I tried my best to carry on looking after my daughter and working, but I knew I wasn’t giving my best to either.”
“It was only a year later, when my dad sadly passed away and I went to see a counsellor, that I realised how much I was taking on. I went back to the doctor who finally diagnosed me with early menopause, which is when you’re menopausal between the ages of 40 and 45. They couldn’t say why it happened to me. The reasons are often unknown, but it can be caused by chromosome issues, autoimmune diseases or cancer treatments.”
“I decided to go on HRT as those who experience early menopause are at greater risk of conditions like osteoporosis and HRT can help†, although me and my GP had to choose my medication carefully as I’m epileptic. I take vitamins, go swimming and walk as much as I can. Thankfully, as a Boots employee, there’s so much understanding within the company. The Boots and This Morning Menopause Bus toured the UK in the summer as a ‘drop in’ where women could get advice from health and wellness experts. We also have a menopause support group in our head office.”
“Going through early menopause wasn’t what I expected, but for me there was no stigma; it was the lack of support that affected me. Thankfully, that’s changing now.”
I went through early menopause
Heather Jackson, 53, from the Cotswolds, is cofounder of GenM, which partners with brands to help improve the menopause experience for all
“When we’re going through the menopause, women are at their peak, whether that’s in their careers, family and friends, or being ready to tick off extensive bucket lists. In fact, menopause is the most inconveniently timed thing that’s ever happened!”
“I cofounded GenM with my friend Sam after perimenopause blindsided us. I was 51, had just sold my business, had the house to myself finally after the kids had left and was planning a trek to the Everest base camp. It was the time in my life I’d been waiting for. Except suddenly if I sat down on the settee I’d just fall asleep, or I’d have a meltdown in a supermarket because they didn’t have strawberry yoghurt, and my kids thought I was going crazy because I was an emotional wreck.”
“I now know I must’ve started perimenopause years earlier, but I genuinely had no idea at the time.”
“Sam and I felt frustrated that the brands we loved weren’t doing more for women like us, so we started GenM. Now, we work with more than 70 brands to show how they can help their menopausal colleagues and consumers – whether it’s shampoos for hair thinning, normal-looking period underwear for unexpected flooding, a stay-put foundation that won’t run down your face on a Zoom call when having a hot flush or nail polish for brittle nails."
"It’s about making small changes, because your signs and symptoms could last up to 15 years.”
“When teens go through puberty, we know they’re likely going to have oily skin and slam doors. We need menopause to be accepted in the same way. It’s not all about going on HRT either as many women can’t or don’t want to take it for a variety of reasons.”
“Let’s get behind midlife women and allow them to thrive and be the best versions of themselves. With our skill sets, confidence and life experiences, we have such an important role to play in society, whether it’s economically or emotionally. At GenM, we want the menopause experience to be better.”
I want to help midlife women thrive
Photography: Chantel King. Styling: Celine Sheridan.
Make-up: Lauren McCormack.
Hair: Chad Maxwell. Location: Spring Studios.
*Menopause Support.
**Nursing Times.
***Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation.
†Study published in Menopause Review
