Bedtimes becoming a battle? We’re here to help you understand what could be stopping your little one from going to sleep, as well as sharing some helpful tips for healthy sleep habits, so you can all get a better night’s rest
If your child is having trouble getting to sleep, night times can seem like a nightmare. Working out the reasons behind their sleep troubles and putting strategies in place can help your little one drift off to the land of nod.
Why is sleep so important?
First thing’s first, let’s quickly explore why sleep is so important. Getting a good night’s sleep is a basic need, as this is when our brains and bodies process and recover from everything we did during the day.
Not getting enough sleep can affect our mood, and lead to difficulties in concentration and behaviour, and irritability. Lack of sleep can also affect our immune system, meaning we may be less able to fight off illnesses.
Sleep is super important for children and young people, as it’s essential for helping maintain their physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.
What’s stopping my child from going to sleep?
Some things that can affect how well your child sleeps include:
Bedwetting
Bedwetting is common, and most children grow out of it. There are many different reasons for bedwetting – read our article on understanding bed wetting for causes, solutions, how to support your child and when to seek help.
Feeling worried or anxious
If your child is feeling worried or anxious, these feelings can be more intense or overwhelming at bedtime. Read our anxiety in children article for advice on how to help support your child with anxious feelings.
Feeling hungry or thirsty
While needing a drink or a snack is an age-old ploy to stay up later, there may be times when your child does genuinely need a drink or a quick bowl of cereal before bed. Just make sure they brush their teeth afterwards!
Illness
Things like teething, ear infections, coughs and colds can all stop your child from sleeping properly. The good news is, these are all temporary and your little one should start to sleep better once they’re feeling better. Try to stick to a bedtime routine if possible, even when they’re feeling under the weather, as this will help reinforce healthy sleep habits. If you think your child has an underlying health issue that’s affecting their sleep, speak to your GP for advice.
Separation anxiety
Separation anxiety is common in young children, and they usually grow out of it. As your child gets older, they’ll understand that you’re there, even when they can’t see you. In the meantime, a familiar toy or comforter, especially one with your scent on, may help soothe your child to sleep.
Sleep regression
If your toddler has gone from sleeping well to suddenly refusing to go to sleep, or waking frequently, they may be going through a sleep regression. This can feel trickier than previous sleep regressions, as toddlers may be able to physically get themselves out of bed and into mischief.
The good news is, this change in their sleeping patterns should only be temporary, so bear with it! Try to stick to a consistent bedtime routine during this time, so they don’t pick up any bad bedtime habits.
Things like their sleep environment can also affect how well your child sleeps, so it’s worth making sure everything’s as calm and cosy as possible.
Helping your child get to sleep
Creating a consistent sleep schedule and sticking to a regular bedtime routine is one of the best things you can do to help your child get a good night’s sleep. It might feel easier on some evenings than others, but even if they’re ill or going through sleep regression or separation anxiety, it’s still a good idea to stick to a familiar bedtime routine, as they’ll be less likely to pick up bad sleep habits.
What does a good bedtime routine look like?
Every child is different, so choose a bedtime routine that you think will be right for them – and don’t be afraid to tweak it until you find something that works. The first step is finding a suitable time for your child to go to sleep, then starting their bedtime routine 30 to 60 minutes before that.
For younger children, the bedtime routine could include:
- A nice soothing bubble bath – we love My Little Coco Sleepy Head Bath & Body Bubbles because it’s scented with calming lavender and chamomile to help get them ready for a restful slumber
- Putting on some cosy pyjamas
- Brushing their teeth, if they’ve come through
- A favourite bedtime story or song
- A kiss and a cuddle goodnight
Bedtime routines for older children might look something like:
- Turning off any tech 30 to 60 mins before bedtime
- Changing into pyjamas
- Brushing their teeth and washing their face
- Getting tucked in and choosing a book to snuggle up with
Take a look at our sleep hygiene hub for more tips and advice for a better night’s sleep.
Is my child too scared to go to sleep?
Whether it’s one last story, a drink of milk or another trip to the toilet, children have some of the best tactics up their (pyjama) sleeves when it comes to delaying bedtime.
Most kids simply don’t want to miss out on anything (after all, sleep’s so boring when you’re a child, right?). However, there may be more at play than them simply not wanting to hit the hay just yet.
It's a good idea to look into why your child might be stalling when it comes to bedtime. They may have a worry that’s on their mind and stopping them from falling asleep. If you notice your child is struggling at bedtime, try discussing it during the day and talking through what might be on their mind, and what could help.
A comfort blanket or favourite teddy can help your child feel safe and relaxed enough to drift off. Getting them a night light or leaving a light on in the hallway, even if they’re not scared of the dark, can also help them feel more secure.
Alternatively, it could be something as simple as a strange shadow or noise in their room that’s stopping them from going to sleep. Have a lie down in their bed at their usual bedtime, so you can see (and hear) things from their perspective.
Adding a night light (try the Tommee Tippee Penguin 2 in 1 Portable Night Light) or blackout blind (we like the Tommee Tippee Sleeptight Portable Blackout Blind) and moving a few things around in their room so the shadows don’t look as strange may all help to make your child feel more relaxed. Things like the central heating kicking in or the TV being on downstairs can all sound strange at bedtime, so you might need to identify and explain any odd noises to help put their mind at ease.
Coping strategies for when bedtime becomes a battle
Tricky bedtimes can quickly become exhausting for everyone involved. Constantly having to coax your child into bed can take its toll on you. To add insult to injury, your child will pick up on when you’re feeling stressed, which can make the situation even more difficult, as it creates the opposite of a calming atmosphere.
With that in mind, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving yourself a break and handing bedtime duties to a family member or friend if you start to feel anxious in the build-up to bedtime. It’ll give you a chance to relax, and your child may respond differently to someone else putting them to bed – it might just be the reset you both need. So don’t lose sleep feeling guilty about giving yourself the night off!
Recognising sleep problems
Some illnesses can disturb your child’s sleep for a short period of time, but things should go back to normal once your child is feeling better. Some issues, such as insomnia and sleep apnoea, can affect sleep more frequently. You should speak to your GP if you’re concerned, or your child regularly struggles to sleep or has unusual symptoms that are preventing them from getting a good night’s sleep.
Help them drift off with these slumber wonders
Now you’ve got all the tips and techniques you need for helping your child get a good night’s sleep, all that’s left to say is: sweet dreams!
