Learn about the reasons why your sex drive may not be at full throttle
Everyone’s libido (your level of desire for sexual activities, also known as your sex drive) is different, and throughout our lives, it’s bound to change. Whether it be from hormonal or lifestyle changes, there are lots of reasons why your libido might not be at its usual level.
NOTE: This article uses the terms ‘male/man/men’ and/or ‘female/woman/women’. Please note, this is in reference to the sex assigned at birth.
Low libido in women
Hormonal contraception
As with any medicine, hormonal contraception can cause side effects. Changes in hormones can affect some women’s libido – the oestrogen and progesterone found in some hormonal contraception can affect your testosterone levels, which may lead to reducing your desire and in turn, your libido.
This usually isn't anything to worry about. If you think hormonal contraception is affecting your sex drive, tell your GP or nurse, so they can find the best solution for you.
Pregnancy
Your body goes through a lot of changes during pregnancy and after giving birth, including changes to your hormone levels.
Most of the time, your libido goes back to normal after a while, but if you’re getting worried, speak to your GP or midwife for more tailored advice.
Menopause
Menopause is the natural process that women go through as they get older; oestrogen levels drop, which gradually stops periods. This big change to your hormones can cause a range of symptoms, one being a loss of libido.
Sometimes, this is a result of menopause causing vaginal dryness. This can make sex really uncomfortable, but it can be helped by using vaginal moisturisers or incorporating lubricants into sex. Your GP will be able to help you with more personalised advice, plus can prescribe treatment for vaginal dryness. Or, you can consider our Vaginal Dryness Treatment service.*
Other times, a lower libido during menopause can be helped through practising mindfulness and reconnecting with your body.
Women’s health pioneer, Dr Shahzadi Harper, says, “I think you have to kind-of reconnect the mind and the body.” She recommends meditation or that people try to “rediscover themselves with a sex toy.” You can listen to more of her advice in our Menopause Conversations series.
For further support with managing menopause symptoms, you can speak to your GP, or consider our Menopause & HRT Treatment Service.*
Low libido in men
Low libido in men can be caused by several factors, including medical conditions like testosterone deficiency or erectile dysfunction.
Testosterone deficiency (when your body doesn’t produce enough testosterone) could cause a range of symptoms, like erectile dysfunction or a loss of libido.
Similarly, erectile dysfunction can also cause low libido. While these conditions are nothing to be embarrassed about, they might make you feel self-conscious, which can further impact your libido.
If you’re worried about your libido, speak to your GP so you can understand any underlying cause and possible treatment options. If your libido is being affected by another condition, addressing the underlying issue can help restore your sex drive.
If you have erectile dysfunction, you may also want to consider our Erectile Dysfunction Treatment service* for further support.
Mental health & everyday stress
How you’re feeling outside of the bedroom can sometimes translate into a lower libido. Luckily, managing any worrying factors can help you get your normal libido level back.
Depression & anxiety
Some mental health conditions like depression or anxiety can lower your sex drive. It’s okay to not feel okay, and if you’re being affected, you can access support via your GP. Alternatively, there is the Boots Depression and Anxiety Treatment service.
However, in some cases, some medicines, like antidepressants, can also cause a lower sex drive. If this is the case, speak to your GP.
Visit our Mental Health Support Health Hub for more information.
Self-esteem
Every body is beautiful – but sometimes, we don’t see this in ourselves.
Feeling self-conscious about your body might make you feel unattractive, so you might avoid having sex so someone doesn’t see you naked.
The NHS has advice on how to help with low self-esteem, including tips about recognising what you’re good at and being kind to yourself. It can be easier said than done sometimes, but if you need more support, you can refer yourself for talking therapies like counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Your GP can also refer you to these services.
Everyday stress
Everyone gets stressed from time to time – but it isn’t healthy for anyone to feel constantly overwhelmed.
Alongside other symptoms, feeling regularly stressed can cause a low libido. Try to think about what is making you feel this way, and if there are any steps you can take to help. Or, learn about our tips for coping with long-term everyday stress.
If stress is affecting your everyday life, you should speak to your GP.
Lifestyle
Alcohol
Drinking too much alcohol regularly has lots of health risks, from alcohol poisoning to long-term health conditions like heart disease or cancer. But, did you know that drinking too much alcohol can also affect your sex drive?
Sometimes, people experience a loss of libido when they’ve been drinking alcohol, but their sex drive will usually go back to normal once the alcohol is out of their system. However, heavily drinking alcohol regularly might have long-term effects on your libido.
Cutting down on alcohol doesn’t have to mean the end of your social life. In fact, you might be able to find new ways to spend time with loved ones. Learn more about leading a sober-curious lifestyle.
Relationship problems
Sometimes, relationship problems can make you lose your libido. The NHS recommends that you look into relationship counselling to get the support you need, to help you tackle the issues which may be contributing to low libido.
Remember, if you’re worried about a low libido, speak to your GP for further support and advice.
