Why menopause might make your sex drive hit the brakes or go full throttle
From physical signs and symptoms to emotional changes, your body goes through a lot during menopause – and this can affect your sex drive.
Everyone experiences menopause differently, so you might find that your sex drive increases or decreases. We investigate why this might happen, and what you can do to help you carry on enjoying one of life’s pleasures.
Note: This article uses the terms ‘female/woman/women’. Please note, this is in reference to the sex assigned at birth.
What is menopause?
Menopause is when your hormone levels decrease and your periods stop. Normally, it affects women around 45 to 55, but it can happen earlier. It can also be medically induced, for example if you have a hysterectomy (an operation to remove the uterus) or cancer treatments like chemotherapy. You can find further advice and services about menopause on our Menopause Health Hub.
How does menopause affect sex drive?
Hormone levels
Hormones like oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone can affect different areas of sexual health. So, when your hormone levels drop during menopause, different areas of your sexual health can be affected, too.
These include:
- Libido - also known as your sex drive. Your libido may decrease during menopause, or lower oestrogen and progesterone levels may make testosterone feel heightened, causing an increased libido.
- Arousal - Lower oestrogen levels can reduce the blood flow to your genitals, making it more difficult to get aroused. Your body might also have difficulty naturally lubricating.
- Pleasure - Menopause can actually make the clitoris shrink, so you might find it more difficult to orgasm.
Menopause symptoms
Menopause signs and symptoms, both physical and emotional, can also affect your sex drive.
A lot of menopause signs and symptoms can make you feel uncomfortable in your body, and not want to have sex. These could be physical – like trouble sleeping, hot flushes or headaches – or emotional – like brain fog, mood changes or low self-esteem.
Likewise, some women may feel less worried, because menopause means they’re less likely to get pregnant. This might actually improve their sex drive.
How can I help a low sex drive?
Speaking to your GP
The best way to improve your sex drive is to treat the reason why it’s changed. And the best way to do this? Speak to your GP.
In episode five of Boots’ Menopause Conversations, host Genevieve Nikolopulos spoke to Sandie Roberts and Dr. Shahzadi Harper about sexual health during menopause. During this episode, they talked about the importance of going to the GP once you notice menopausal signs or symptoms.
Sandie Roberts said, “It’s really important that people go and talk to their doctors as soon as they notice any signs or symptoms,” which includes any to do with your sexual health. “When you do have difficulties, anything to do with discomfort around your vagina, around your vulva, nobody wants to talk about it!”
Your GP might prescribe you hormone replacement therapy (HRT). This can help balance out changes in oestrogen and progesterone, plus can help treat symptoms like hot flushes, trouble sleeping and more. They might be able to prescribe other treatments depending on your signs and symptoms, like vaginal creams – we like Vagisil Daily Soothe and Protect, and moisturisers like the Replens Vaginal Moisturiser.
Talking to loved ones
A big part of menopause is the emotional toll. During Menopause Conversations, Genevieve confessed that her sexual health symptoms, “Made [her] feel old. Which actually, it shouldn’t.”
Menopause is a natural part of life for someone that gets a period – so we shouldn’t feel embarrassed about it, even when it comes to sexual health.
It’s important that you communicate with your partner about how you feel, so they understand what you’re going through, and can help where possible.
Sandie explained how she regretted avoiding telling her partner about her menopause: “I didn’t want him to think we shouldn’t have sex. But of course, it’s not going to go away, and if I had known and I could have put a label on it, A, I would’ve gotten help, B, I could’ve talked to him about it and C, we could have found other ways earlier to be intimate.”
If you and your partner encourage open, honest conversation, you can help each other adapt your intimacy to help suit any menopausal signs and symptoms you maybe experienceing.
You might want to incorporate new items into the bedroom. You can try adult toys like the Lovehoney Health Rechargeable Bullet Massager or lubricants like the Lovehoney Water Based Lubricant.
If you have friends or loved ones that are also experiencing menopause, or have gone through it, you might find it useful and reassuring to talk to them about it. They might be able to help you with solutions to signs or symptoms – or you might be able to help them.
Other ways to help
Pelvic floor exercises (also known as Kegels) can help increase blood flow to the vagina, strengthening the muscles that help you orgasm. You can do these through different stretches, or by using Kegel exercisers like the Lovehoney Health Silicone Kegel Exercisers.
Your sex drive changing because of menopause doesn’t have to feel daunting, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Make sure to the watch The Menopause Conversations below to learn more about sexual health during menopause.
