After noticing her first grey hairs aged 14, Health & Beauty editor Jo Hoare remembers feeling embarrassed. Now, she’s celebrating her silver strands & teaching us how we can love ours, too
Like most 90s teens, I had a tumultuous relationship with my hair. It was a tough time for all of us, follicle wise, as straighteners were but a twinkle in some far off stylist’s eye and the most access we had to hair tools was a hand-me-down hot brush from our mum that gave off a worrying scent of burnt-on Elnett hairspray every time you turned it on.
As for colour, this was the era of Sun-In and Wella shaders and toners. The former left me with an orange hue my dad used to describe as ‘Duracell battery’ and the latter with unnatural red patches that looked like I’d had a recent head wound. Cut-wise, I, along with half the female population, had a Rachel from Friends, which did not suit my thin, wavy hair and was a daily battle to keep under any kind of control. (FYI, there were only two cuts available in the mid-90s, the Jen An and the ‘edgy’ Toni & Guy asymmetric bob.) So far, so bad, but worse was to come…
I was 14 when I first saw grey hairs
I was around 14 years old when I remember my mum’s hairdresser cutting my hair in our kitchen (it was the 90s, you went to the salon only to get an ‘updo’ for your school ball, everything else was done sat on a breakfast bar stool with an old towel bulldog-clipped around your neck and Neighbours playing in the background). She suddenly paused midway and went over to whisper dramatically to my mum. My first thought was nits, as my little brother was constantly coming home armed with notes warning of infestations in his class, but instead it turned out she’d seen some grey hairs. Her horrified attitude set the tone for how I thought about my hair for the next couple of decades; it was something to hide at all costs and feel embarrassed of.
Trying to cover up my grey was a nightmare
Thus, I made the decision to conceal my grey quite early on. The first step was some excruciatingly painful pull-through-the-cap highlights – think a porcupine in a swimming hat and you’re there – which the aforementioned horrified home hairdresser coaxed me into to disguise the *whispered tones* grey. This didn’t do much other than make my hair coarse and frizzy, so I moved onto dark box dyes, ruining various university accommodation bathrooms throughout my late teens and early 20s.
When the regrowth became too much hassle, I returned to highlights. Thankfully, we had entered the foil era by now so it was a less agonising process but still time consuming and costly. When the highlights started to become outnumbered by the greys, I turned to a full head of bombshell blonde bleach, which at first I loved; the bright, bold shade was the perfect style statement and it became the thing people knew me for. However, it was A LOT of upkeep. We’re talking six hours in the hairdressers every five weeks and about £2k spent on it a year. When time or money was tight I’d think about quitting, but I still had the hangover of embarrassment of being young and grey and working in the beauty industry – I thought people would judge me.
The pandemic changed my attitude towards going grey
Lockdown forced my hand. I couldn’t get to the hairdressers, so of course my grey roots came through. At first, I hated it, and felt like people were staring at them on Zoom. There were a few times I nearly crumbled and box dyed my hair myself. When these cravings came, I’d text my hairdresser (thankfully, no longer the grey-shaming one) who would terrify me with what would happen if I put home dye over bleach and told me that he’d never touch my hair again if I did! So, I persevered with the look.
Once I’d got around an inch of regrowth, I experimented with toners and purple shampoo, and actually managed to get the bleach blonde to match my natural grey pretty well. From there it was easier. I’d reached a turning point. I told people what I was doing, and didn’t try to hide it, and everyone was extremely supportive.
Now, going grey feels like something to celebrate
Attitudes are really changing. It’s not just acceptable to have grey hair – it’s desirable! Instagram is really supportive for anyone wanting to go grey and there are some inspiring and helpful young grey girls to follow, such as DJ Harriet Rose whose silver hair is super cool. I have never had so many compliments from strangers on anything as I have in the last year of being fully grey, from nightclub toilets to the edge of the Grand Canyon! People constantly ask me about it and it now feels really good to talk to them about it in a celebratory way.
I love sharing advice with others considering embracing their grey hair
My top advice? Surround yourself with good grey inspo on social media. The hashtags #greyhair, #grayhair, #greyhairdontcare and #greyhairjourney are all amazing to follow on Instagram. Find some people whose grey is similar to yours and watch what they do to work out what you like – you’ll find it incredibly inspiring. I’d also emphasise how important it is to maintain the condition of your hair. Don’t skip cuts as scraggly grey hair can look unkempt, so you might need to factor in a few more trips to the salon for a trim, but it’s a fraction of what you probably used to spend on colour. And finally, don’t be afraid to tweak your clothes and make-up so that you really glow. I used to avoid black clothes when I was blonde, but I absolutely love black with grey. I also never wore bronzer, but now a light tan really makes my colour pop – play around and experiment, and you’ll be surprised how much fun your new colour can be.
Jo’s top grey hair picks
The styling tool
Try: Dyson Airwrap™ Multi-Styler Complete Nickel/Copper
In the box:
• Dyson Airwrap multi-styler
• Coanda smoothing dryer
• 30mm Airwrap barrel
• 40mm Airwrap barrel
• Soft smoothing brush
• Firm smoothing brush
• Round volumising brush
• Storage case
• Filter cleaning brush
The slightly wirier texture that often comes with grey can be hard to blow dry smooth, but my Dyson Airwrap is my grey hair superhero. Yes, it’s expensive, but nothing else gives me that luxurious-looking, expensive finish quite like it. I use the smoothing attachment, followed by the round brush and my blow drys are better than I’ve had in lots of salons now!
