Summer has landed and with it our urge to get out there and make it as joyous as possible, but where do we start?
We all want to be happy, especially at this time of year when the sun is (usually) shining and we’re looking forward to holidays and time with loved ones. But perhaps what makes happiness seem unattainable is that we don’t know when we have it. How and when do we know we’re happy? Are you happy right now? It’s usually something we assign to the future. How many times have you thought: "I’ll be happy when… I go on holiday/bag that dream job/get a bigger house/find a partner"?
Author of The Little Book of Happiness, Miriam Akhtar, describes happiness as, "experiencing positive emotions and good feelings, along with a deeper sense of meaning, purpose and satisfaction in life. Joy is one of the most common positive emotions, a feeling of pleasure and delight, like little fireworks." It’s a definition that makes happiness feel more accessible, as it acknowledges that its components can be fleeting.
So, it stands to reason that in order to feel happiness this summer and beyond, we should focus on moments of joy, big and small – from enjoying the "woosh" as your stomach flips on a carnival ride and pausing to admire a beautiful sunset to losing yourself in the music at a festival and the thrill of running into the sea. Rather than the expectation of a constant state of happiness, seeking a moment of joy, pleasure, or a bit of bliss, is a small action that adds up. The more we experience joy (and other positive emotions), the more it feeds into our general wellbeing.
But it’s not always easy to feel happiness right now and life can be very uncertain, so how can we learn to grab these moments of joy full throttle this summer? "There’s a saying, 'what’s wrong is strong'. Our brains are wired to notice what’s wrong before what’s right," says Miriam. This is where spending time cultivating joy comes in. "The good news is that our brains are malleable and neuroscience shows it’s possible to grow our happiness through practise. Do the things that make you feel good and do them often," adds Miriam.
Here are some ways to grab moments of joy this sunny season. Summer better be ready…
Make plans
We all know how great it feels buying holiday minis for that long-awaited trip abroad, or finding the perfect outfit for a wedding, or catching that first glimpse of the sea as it winks into view from the car window; our anticipation is heightened and our excitement of what’s to come knows no bounds. Research suggests having something positive to look forward to can boost our mood and reduce stress, with studies revealing that simply the idea of doing something can make you feel joyful, by maintaining dopamine levels in your brain*.
So, make this summer as fun-filled as possible and start planning that much-talked-about camping weekend with friends, that trip to the seaside or that Pride party in your garden now.
Get playful
As children, we lean towards playfulness and living in the moment – and it’s time to reignite your inner child as studies show that being playful can increase our general wellbeing and sense of life satisfaction.** From something as simple as showing a child-like curiosity for nature to a nostalgic trip to the fairground and enjoying a ride on the carousel, work out what fires up your inner child and nurture it.
Write a "joy list"
This requires you to consider the aspects of your life that make you feel good. If putting on a bright lippy makes you feel good, make sure it’s part of your day. If it’s days out with mates or playing with the kids, add these to the list. Whatever ends up on your "joy list", do more of those things. And there are no wrong answers – even Oprah does it!
Dr Susan Biali takes the idea of a "joy list" a step further and advocates writing a perfect day essay. "You can be anywhere you want, doing anything you want, with anyone you want. It can be surprising if you’re honest with yourself," she writes in her book, Live a Life You Love. But what if a trip to the beach is our perfect day and our actual day starts with the school run? This exercise simply aims to highlight the gap between your ‘perfect day’ and your reality, helping you make more informed choices.
Be kind(er)
A study published in Review of General Psychology found that when people carried out three to five acts of kindness a day, they experienced significant increases in their own happiness. So, whether it’s offering your seat to someone else, or giving your partner a compliment, spread the love this summer and reap the benefits.
Practise gratitude
Executive coach and modern-day shaman, Sarah Negus, believes complacency is the enemy of joy, which is where practising gratitude comes in. "Live in recognition of all you already have and build gratitude every day for these things we sometimes take for granted," she says. It can be as simple as thinking of one thing you’re grateful for that happened that day, such as sharing a joke or enjoying an ice cream.
Savour the moment
"Savouring is about paying deliberate attention to the experience of pleasure and being present to the joys of the moment," explains Miriam.
Begin by soaking up every last drop of summer, from the candyfloss that fizzes on your tongue and the wind that whips through your hair while on the pier, to laughing with friends until your stomach aches and you lose track of time. Finding happiness starts with getting out there...
